Simon and Garfunkel sing once the words of the prophet are written on the walls of the subway. They were only partially correct because the truth of the gospel can be found in all forms of art, including cartoons. Take a cartoon caption by Paul Rigby in the Sydney Daily Telegraph, who witnessed the plight of the English batsmen during the 1974-75 Ashes tour: “Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust, if Thommo doesn’t get you, Lillee must”. The line became so apocryphal that it became part of not only cricket folklore but also military tactics when then DGMO Lt. Gen. Rajiv Ghai used phrase to indicate the robustness of India’s air defense system.And for the defenders facing the Dictator Mbappé and his generals, they will have the same premonition that the English felt while facing Dennis Lillee or Jeff Thomson: If Mbappé does not catch you, Olise. And if Olise doesn’t, Dembélé could. And if you avoid Dembélé…You are drifting because this is a really talented French forward who threatens to produce cricket scores every time they click. Just ask Senegal and Iraq, who could not live with Mbappé and Co. The most terrifying thing is that you have the idea that this lot is not played even in the top gear, but they only show the flashes of the brilliance of their craft.Take Mbappé’s first goal, in which took a first touch with his right before deftly putting the ball in the goal with his left, which we are told is not his strongest foot. The only things that seem able to stop France in this form are the forces of nature, as they did for 131 minutes before restarting the match and Mbappé found the net, which seems to have set up a direct race to arms with Lionel Messi. The latter has 18 in 28 games. Mbappé has 16 in 16, a truly terrifying figure, since this is the biggest stadium in football, where even the greatest players can suddenly find their feet of clay.
Speaking of Messi, he is on track to win the only prize that has eluded him in football, the Scarta d’Oro. Messi made the case after scoring two goals against Austria in what was dubbed the Third Reich Derby and taking his tally to five goals, and in any normal World Cup year, five goals would be enough for the Golden Boot. Except this is no ordinary World Cup, with Haaland and Mbappé hot on their heels. Maybe it wouldn’t be a competition if Messi was better at penalties.Despite being a GOAT, Argentina is pretty bad at penalties. Now, all GOATs have their weaknesses. Shaquille O’Neal was sucking up free throws, averaging one in two. Virat Kohli has never quite sorted out his tendency to fumble awkwardly at deliveries outside the off stump. And Messi is a rather average penalty taker. In his international career, he has 25 goals from 31 penalties. Including club matches, he has 116 in 149, just 77%.In comparison, Cristiano Ronaldothat the critics often call him Penaldo, he took 211 penalties and still has a success rate of 83.8%, with 183 points. Robert Lewandowski has the best record among elite players with a record of 91%, while Harry Kane is at 89.2%. Even Ronaldo’s Portuguese teammate Bruno Fernandes has a success rate of 89.3% from 75 penalties.Now, it should be noted that Messi has often fobbed off penalty duties to his teammates and even “helped” Luis Suárez, but that’s still a surprisingly mediocre number for a GOAT of his stature.Speaking of the GOATs, Erling Haaland was on hand to lead Norway to an entertaining 3-2 win over Senegal, which will make the final match of the group a France vs Norway clash. Haaland, whose blond locks have seen him often nicknamed Targaryen, is roughly the size of one of the Dragon House’s dragons, especially when he’s hitting goalies. The biggest shock this time was when he actually got the ball and didn’t score.Norway returned to the World Cup after 1998, when Haaland Sr played, and they are having the time of their lives, with everyone from politicians to fans who sing the Viking row and give a Disney sports wash to a tribe of looters, but again, it has always been directly related to the color of the skin.
The next match sees France take on Norway and the internet is already awash with Batman vs Superman memes as two of the most talented players of their generation go head to head. Of course, France’s attack has more points than Norway, which depends a lot on Haaland and Odegaard, but it could also be a match for the ages.Finally, in the last match of the day, Algeria denied Jordan a victory with two quick goals, leading the commentators to say: Kobe would never. But perhaps the main talking point was Luca Zidane’s performance in goal. The Algerian got a hand to Nizar Al-Rashdan’s strike but failed to prevent it going into the net. He made two shoddy mistakes in the first leg against Argentina, which saw Messi score twice, but he might like to point the proverbial finger at the ball.
TALKING POINT: GO A BALL AHEAD
This has been quite a high-profile World Cup and one reason for that is the ball that FIFA uses for this tournament. FIFA told AP that the ball has been designed with deep seams to produce “optimal stability in flight”, which sees it race towards goalkeepers and also gives added grip while striking and dribbling in damp or wet conditions.Austrian coach Ralf Rangnick told the AP: “This ball is fast as a cannonball. I think today and the last two days, you saw that if you hit the ball in the right position, it is extremely difficult to save.”
The Adidas Trionda is unique in that it has only four thermally bonded panels, the lowest for a men’s World Cup ball. Former England goalkeeper Joe Hart noted that the ball reaches goalkeepers faster than they expect. The design of four panels makes it aerodynamically different from other balls and can behave unpredictably when hit with spin.That, combined with more protection for the forwards – think how England’s defenders swarmed Maradona before he scored the Hand of God – has meant this World Cup has become a goalfest.
A look at Day 13: Redemption for a GOAT?
Matchday 13 sees Ronaldo’s Portugal take on Fabio Cannavaro’s Uzbekistan, and the talented Portuguese side will be hoping to get their campaign back on track after a damaging draw against DR Congo.Cannavaro, who won the World Cup with Italy in 2006 after Zidane’s boss and the curse of Sarajevo, makes a team that some could argue is even more talented than Figo’s Golden Generation, with Bernardo Silva, Bruno Fernandes, Vitinha, Rafael Leão, Pedro Neto and João Neves in the ranks. All eyes will, of course, be on Ronaldo, who stuttered in the first game and whose gravitational star power, along with the toxic fandom, threatens to derail the team and its dynamics. Much has been written about the social media storm over João Neves’ innocuous comments that have been taken out of context.Regardless of the social media banter, questions have to be asked if Portugal would be better off without their veteran GOAT, whose sphere of influence has waned with age. On the other hand, anyone who has followed his career knows that his fountain of self-belief is endless, and if anyone can shake off the critics, it’s Ronaldo. To put his longevity into context, 211, or 16.9%, of those featuring in this year’s World Cup were born after Ronaldo made his professional debut for Sporting Lisbon.
Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo reacts during the World Cup Group K soccer match between Portugal and Congo in Houston, Wednesday, June 17, 2026. (AP Photo/Ashley Landis)
Meanwhile, England will take on Ghana, and the English will find a familiar face in the opposite dugout, with Ghana led by former Man Utd assistant coach and Alex Ferguson’s trusted right-hand man Carlos Queiroz. The match has an added advantage for the greatest goaler of England Harry Kane, who will appear in the “Boston Stadium” for the first time, but in a stadium that is really known as Gillette Stadium and is the home of the New England Patriots and Tom Brady, the greatest quarterback of the NFL, who won six titles with the Patriots before collecting his seven years of Tampa Bay Bucca.Kane, a struggling Brady Stan, has long talked about becoming an NFL kicker once his playing days are over, but now he remains committed to breaking England’s trophy. The Three Lions have not won a major trophy since the 1966 World Cup, which they won on home soil, and while Kane finally got his hands on silverware after swapping Spurs for Bayern Munich, he will be hoping to do a Brady and finally earn England that victory. He is not alone, however, and Tuchel has selected some English talent to be with him, including the concept of rugby-style finishers. The term refers to the introduction of talented players at the death to ensure that the team does not lack stamina, the way Morgan Rogers, Marcus Rashford and Bukayo Saka were introduced in the last 15 minutes against Croatia.On the other hand, Ghana’s attacking ambition is led by Antoine Semenyo, who was born in London and plies his trade for Manchester City in the Premier League.Croatia faces Panama in Luka Modric’s 200th game, and Modric could be both the problem and the solution for his team. The perennial winners of the World Cup only gained independence in 1991, but they were runners-up once, in 2018, and third place twice, in 1998 and 2022. However, this year, the men in red and blue are looking for lackluster, although a victory could help them qualify. And finally, Colombia faces DR Congo, whose 5-3-2 system Portugal signed and which will also have have their “statue guy” back in the stands.In all, at the end of day 13, each team will have played two games, giving a clearer picture of what to expect when we go to the round of 32.
WATCH MEME
And the winner: Hydration Break with Ronaldinho
PS: Thanks to Twitter users @SarathySatire, @vish0890, @vinit_shenoy and @n_aficionado for their submissions. If you have any memes to submit, tag @nonsensicalnemo and use the hashtag #TOIOFFSIDE.
